On Being a Nomad

"By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going" Heb 11.8

Like most young Christians I suppose, when I was in college I was concerned about finding the place of "God's Will". "Where does God want me to be?" would often be a question I would ponder. I was not alone. Many of my friends would often ask the same things, in various ways and times. We were concerned about making the right choice at the right time lest we "move outside God's will". 

The whole idea, of course, is quite mysterious. The generalities of what God's will are are fairly plain, but what really interests us are the intricate details and those we don't find in the Bible (I've looked). Of course that's where faith becomes critical. If every detail of God's plan were unfolded for me before it happened, that would render faith, well, rather unnecessary to say the least. But still, the question remains...

Green Holly Drive, Jesslyn Avenue, Baden Powell Drive, Westmount Drive, Vine St and White Oak Lane - these are the street names in which Casey and I (and the family) have lived in the past 7 years. Once upon a time we were quite restless about finding THE place that we would buy and live for the next few decades. However, these days we are more relaxed and even somewhat embrace our nomadishness. Like Abraham, we pretty much go in obedience even though we "do not know where we are going". For people that believe God's will is a place, finding that "place" is pretty darn important. And not knowing if you are there yet can leave you feeling restless and anxious...or worse. Well, I have to come to believe that God's will is not a place but rather a people, or even a person. That is, God leads us into and out of relationships that He intended for our good and our growth in the season he intended them. The key is to embrace the season and all the difficulties and pain that may encompass and be willing to enter into community - or communitas- with the people He has given us for the time we are there. 

Over the past couple years we have wept at saying 'so long' to some fellow travelers with whom we would have gladly stayed and lived alongside for many more years, if life was all about me. Selvan, Rob, Dale, Nicole, Jacob, Bones, Paul, Thabo, Richard, Nadine, Wayne, Barry, Carlos..and the list goes on and on! These are the people from various walks of life that we have learned from, with and maybe taught a thing or two to over the past little while. If I cared more about geography than community I would have never had some of those life- changing moments - what a shame. Just like the Ultimate Community - the godhead, I am drawn to experiencing life ( not just ritualistic back slapping, but the messy and hard stuff) with these folks and those who God brings down the line. 

So, to live as a nomad is hard, I can promise you. Starting over, getting lost, feeling "spare" and of course talking "funny" are not fun things. But I can live with them if they open doors to the next thing on Gods agenda for me. So I am here now, today. Tomorrow I may not be, but for now, I embrace that liminality and seek that communitas. 

Will you join me? 

Facebook - we might be breaking up...

Facebook - I think I am getting over it.

I (we) first joined Facebook in 2007 when our first daughter was born and we wanted to share some pics with friends and family who could not be there. Back then, that was kind of the idea - keeping in touch with friends and by 'friends' I mean people who are actually your friend. I know, I'm confused too.

People use FB for different reasons, I know. Soon mine became a way of sharing info with others that may be helpful or useful - articles, links etc. and of course status updates so people knew what was happening with us. Those are the good things about FB. So, whats the issue?

I am beginning to think that FB has become the safe haven for virtual voyeurism particularly for those who have limited social skill or have some kind of 'neediness' that is born out in statements designed to illicit a particular response. People who will say "I'm so lonely right now..." and expect a deluge of "I'm here for you's" (actually I'm not actually 'here' but you know what I mean) or 'we love you, you are the best' or some such pithy statement. Maybe you are lonely because you have a lot of "Friends" but don't make the time to get any real ones? Harsh? Maybe. But, on my daily feed I am inundated with these and other such 'information' such as:
....an Instagram picture of your lunch....or new clothes...or random picture of a tree - cool, thanks for sharing.
...or the miles you just ran on nike fit -I'm proud of you!
...or the Bible verse you 'shared' from You version to show us you do read the Bible (Pssst we all know you can tap to upload without even reading it, pastorally speaking, I would love it if people spent that extra 30 seconds thinking or reading the verse than sharing it - but, that's just me)
...or the awkward selfie - again
...or the wonderful array of FB games you play. You grew a plant, won at poker or something - yay!

As if that's no quite enough, there are those who love to comment on everything you say - the FB wall hijackers. In my case, those tend to be people who are FB friends just because its more awkward not to be - like a social media version of refusing a handshake. Rude. But also, not real.

I am into real. Which is maybe why FB is no longer for me. Don't worry my 810 'friends', I won't be deleting my account but just re-branding its use. You wanna connect, catch me on twitter - real info, real links, real short  -good stuff. Plus, no kittens!

As I get ready to speak this weekend, I am reminded of the sermon on the mount (a part of which I am speaking on). It's like an on-going live Tweet-fest as Jesus speaks and gives new meaning to some old understandings. It was frank and honest and true. Unlike so much of what I see on FB. It is virtual identity in a virtual world and I foresee a fallout when real life becomes unavoidable. Let's be real shall we? I for one am going to spend some of that time I have wasted on scrolling through the life you want me to see to try and see it for myself.

*insert selfie of sad face here*    

      

  

The Upside of Down

The Upside of Down

None of us like to feel hopeless. It is demotivating and soul-destroying - it weighs you down. We desire to be hopeful - confident that things will turn out and that it will all be OK. Theologically we may understand the latter statement to be true and we trust in that, but somehow, we still feel hopeless and indeed, helpless from time to time as circumstances and people happen to us! 

I have recently started re-reading a great book and this sentence stuck out -  The time when you get to hopelessness can be one of the best moments for your future. To give up hope that something is going to change when it is not going to gets you unstuck immediately and brings energy. It brings life to the sickness of hope deferred. ( Cloud, 2011:119). 

Especially when it comes to certain relationships and strategic initiatives we feel compelled at times to try and "make it work" simply because the alternative - "giving up" sounds negative and defeatist. But think of all the energy that is expended on this crusade - not to mention time - only for the majority of times, it ends exactly the way you thought it would. 

"At least I tried"   you say. But what would have happened in that time if you had tried something else instead? 

Cloud goes on to speak of the contrast between the wise and the foolish  person - largely drawn from the principles in the book of Proverbs. What would a wise person do in this situation? How would a wise leader respond to this person? How do wise people receive feedback? Cloud says: 

"Here are some traits of the wise: 

•When you give them feedback, they listen, take it in, and adjust their behavior accordingly.

• When you give them feedback, they embrace it positively. 

• They own their performance, problems, and issues and take responsibility for them without excuses or blame.

• They empathize and express concern about the results of their behavior on others.

• In response to feedback, they go into future-oriented problem-solving mode. “I see this. How can I do better in the future?” • They do not allow problems that have been addressed to turn into patterns. They change. They adjust and fix them. It does not mean that change will be instantaneous. There are few instant cures with no slips, as a goal is always being approximated until one gets there. That is why surgeons in training start on cadavers. But they listen and learn and eventually are wise enough to cut living people." 

(Cloud, 2011:129-130). 

What about a foolish person - how might they respond? Often, the fool will try to adjust the truth, so that they don't have to deal with it. Someone else is to blame for my actions - "if you only knew what I had to deal with..." is common phraseology. The foolish person actually does not want to change or even listen. Perhaps the reason we struggle through difficult relationships and not create the 'necessary ending' is because we presume the person will respond in a loving, gracious and kind way if we do. And many times, they do not. 

Talking to a wise and responsible person about the problem is a good idea, change will happen. Whereas talking to a fool continually about the problem - will not help. So stop talking. Cut your losses. Make the change. As Cloud says in summation:

" With wise people, talk to them, give them resources, and you will get a return. With foolish people, stop talking to them about problems; they are not listening. And stop supplying resources; they squander them. Instead, give them limits and consequences." (Cloud, 2011:143). 

Going in circles can leave you hopeless and breathless - the question is, how many of those situations are self imposed? Maybe it's time to recognize who you are dealing with and do the necessary so that your most precious God-given resource and responsibility - Time - is not wasted. 

χαρις και ειρηνη 

Read: Cloud, Henry (2011-01-18). Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward.  HarperBusiness.  

Tis the season

As part of our family tradition of helping those in need over the Christmas season ( see adventconspiracy.org), this year we decided to help those literally on our doorstep. In Cape Town the homeless and destitute people are often referred to as 'bergies' which literally means 'mountain people' in reference to their only home being Table Mountain. This derogatory term not only undermines their existence but also their plight. Every Thursday for us is trash day, for them it is a chance to scavenge for food and any thing they can sell or use. We often see and hear them outside early in the morning with an old food cart wheeling away anything of value.

So this year, instead of digging through trash, we decided to put together some care packages with non perishable food items and hand it out to them. It was an exercise I expected to last about 30 minutes or so. Instead, within 5 minutes, the homeless gathered outside our door one by one and all the packages had disappeared. Each one destitute, each one in need. As we handed out the packages and wished them well for the most important season of the year, I wondered and hoped if they would get the message. Perhaps the most difficult part of the whole thing was the several rings of our doorbell over the next hour from others who were in need but for whom we had nothing left to give.

Afterwards Emma commented that it was a nice feeling to give them food instead of them having to dig in the bins for it. I am just sorry that she has to live in a world where so many have so little and so few have so much.

It's not too late to join in and make the difference.

Who is really in control?

Many are the plans in the mind of a man,

but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. (Proverbs 19:21 ESV)

Ever have one of those times when a verse you have read over and over in the past suddenly seems to have an all new and relevant meaning in your life? As I pondered over this verse recently it has never seemed more relevant that it does right now. As a Theological educator, PH.D student, pastor and program developer I sometimes feel like all I do is make plans! Sometimes it's a lesson plan, curriculum plan or preaching plan. Other times it is a strategic plan or a writing plan. Usually I quite enjoy the process. My personality lends itself to planning. As the old saying goes ' a failure to plan is to plan for failure'. I have seen the disastrous results of those who have failed to plan. It often results in missed goals, disappointment and worse - bad stewardship of God-given resources. However, sometimes, the plan becomes the end and not the means.

This verse seems to indicate that unless a plan has a direct correlation with the will of God, it will not stand. It may not be a bad plan, it's just not God's plan for you. At the end of the day, his purpose will stand regardless of our meticulous, well thought out and actioned plans. This of course, does not mean that planning is bad or somehow "ungodly". But what it does mean in my view, is that as imperfect people - still unable to perfectly synchronize with the heart of God, we will make plans that will fail. They will fail because they are not God's goal for us. This really ought to be a source of encouragement and take the pressure off somewhat. After having a few months of feeling like my plans are not working out the way I had intended ( and presumed the way God had intended also), I am now confident that his purpose will stand regardless. Phew...

Sounds like a plan!

MetroRail Church?

I have been taking the train to work most days over the last few months and it has been an interesting experience to say the least.

Often it is grossly congested and you feel as though you are being carried along by the crowd as people enter and exit at the various stops. Aside from wondering what kind of disease I may be exposing myself to from the guy who is way inside my personal space, I have gotten to wondering about the correlation between this experience and the one that many experience each week - in  church! It seems as though one of the 'unspoken' rules of riding the train is: 'avert-the-eyes-lest-you-notice-me ' and another; 'even-though-I-am-in-your-face-try-pretend-like-I-don't-exist'. No one looks at you, with our earphones firmly in ear, we pretend like I am the only one here. Engagement carries with it too many risks - what will I say? what will they say? what if I don't understand them? what if they are actually a serial killer? etc etc.

I wonder if that is how some people think about church (minus the serial killer question). Maybe if I don't engage, I can get out unscathed? Maybe if I do what everyone else is doing, even if I don't know why, this will be over soon enough? Tune out, unplug, disengage - and then get out ASAP.

Maybe I am too critical and perhaps am guilty of oversimplifying the issue, but for me, the analogy has some validity. The onus is on us as individual believers to have faith enough to engage even if we are not sure of the results. To trust that as I share my faith, doubts, concerns, victories and sorrows - people may not always get it, but they don't always need to. And that's OK. In Acts 2:44 we read that the first Christians "...had everything in common..." Some have said that this relates to their possessions - IE, "what's mine is yours". But the words used there actually comes from the word koinos (read koinonia) which we most often translate as 'fellowship'. This actually preceded the physical mutual sharing of possessions. True fellowship led to loving action. What did that look like? I am not exactly sure, but I know I would have loved to have been part of it - and maybe I still can.

The metrorail is a lot of things, but fellowship it is not.

A random collection of bodies in the same place at the same time, all trying to avert the eyes and get to their destination as painlessly as possible. 

Did I just describe the railway or your church? Be the difference.

               

Great habits die hard...

This last week saw the passing of one of the best known leadership 'guru's' of the last 20 years or so - Steven Covey. Best known for his book 'the 7 habits of highly effective people' Covey had spent several years on the leadership circuit training CEO's and various leaders the principles of leadership from his materials. Debate in Christian circles has been around whether or not Covey was a true Christian. It is fairly well known that he has a Mormon background which he acknowledges often enough and some would say his principles are 'biblical' in a sense. 

For me, good leadership principles are good principles wherever we may glean them from.

One of the "7 habits" that Covey wrote about was what he called "Sharpening the Saw". This basically was about becoming better at what you do, never settling for a mediocre level, always striving to become more...well, effective. I think that is a great principle that too many "Ministry Professionals" overlook. Too often I have observed people becoming content with being OK at what they do. They can lead OK, preach OK, teach OK - and that is enough. No desire to dig deeper into the faith, figure out why they believe as they do, try to sort through their weaknesses in public ministry and IMPROVE. I don't care who you are, you can always get better and most of us know we need to, deep down. Maybe Covey was wrong about a lot of things - but he kept at it - a quality I wish I would see more often from those entrusted with God's people.   

Moving on...

It is always hard to say goodbye to people and a place that you love. Yet, at the same time, it is exciting to move ahead wondering, hoping, thinking and praying about what lies ahead. The past few weeks have been hard on us as we have had to say goodbye to many friends and the ministry we have loved in Durban. However, settling into CT has been an interesting adventure so far. Tomorrow we hope to sign a lease on a new rental for the next year and we will at least have a place to call home for a while. In the meantime, I have been thrust into the middle of some exciting ideas and plans that will ultimately be for the benefit and training of many more men and women to serve God wherever he would lead them in the future. One door closes and another opens...
Sad to say goodbye indeed, but good to say "hello" to some new friends and possibilities.

Thanks to those many people who have upheld us in prayer and continue to do during this transition time. We continue to covet your prayers in the days ahead.

Serving our great God together...      

Who do you look to?

I got this in the mail yesterday. It reminded me of how urgent I need to be in furthering the cause of the gospel in this community. How many desperate people are going to take “Ashley” up on the offer of help? How many people will be led into darkness because of this ad? What am I doing about it?

Maybe like me, you all to easily become complacent in the truth. You sit on it because you have other things to do, life is busy – other people can figure it out. Pity the other side doesn’t do that too. Our Enemy is looking to devour us and anyone he can get to follow his path. He never stops. Never.

Oh, that thought should awaken me from my lethargy – I hope it does you as well. 

Power of Vision

"It takes a village to raise a child" - this is an old African proverb. One organization is taking that literally - the LIV Village project. I had the opportunity recently to meet with its founder, Tich Smith, who shared the vision with me. The big idea is this - South Africa has millions of orphans and impoverished people, yet many turn a blind eye or expect the government to solve the problem. Applying James 1:27 here, Tich tells me that taking care of and restoring dignity to these people is the job of the church not secular government. His goal is to create a sustainable socio-economic platform  (IE not dependent on aid or foreign income) that gives dignity to people, teaches skills, educates children...and oh yes, feeds over 2000 orphans PER DAY! It is no longer a dream, but a reality! I'm excited about doing what we can as a family to help them further this great vision - check out their website for more info. follow them on FB and Twitter and see what God is doing through the power of a vision based on applying the Bible